Deep Dive Discovery
So much of ranting about why my son is in this pathetic situation in Australia. After releasing the steam in my previous monologue, now some deep thinking. Root cause finding. The causes that appear to be easily seen are not the only reasons. The cracks that are seen on the surface are not causes but manifestation of something happening inside the surface, may be deep inside. In order to fix what is broken, the remedy needs to be applied to the main cause, not just the symptoms. Here is my finding about this particular situation. Or, there are two logical channels of analysis.
The kid's fate mostly hinges upon their parents' actions, or absence of actions. At least until certain age when a kid starts driving his or her own fortune. And this age varies from kid to kid. In my son's case, it seems this age is yet to come. When I was controlling the shots about my son's life, it was beneficial for him, though he often felt being dominated. The decisions like moving him to a different school, taking myself off from the work for his important exam preparation, curfew orders for him in the home, proved to be right for his development. It was only when I decided to quit my job and entire work career, that I think the things started going wrong. That decision was purely a selfish decision to help me live better, manage my finance better and to get me all the time I needed. There was no gain for the rest of the family members, especially the kids. In fact, the kids might have felt embarrassed and insecure. In short, though my hardship got reduced, the cost was to be paid by my kids. Had I kept working, my kids would have been much secure and under my strict control. Moreover, it was my duty to make the foreign country living easier for my kids. As a successful IT professional, I could have tried for a US posting or change of job to get relocated to the US. It would have been hard given the competition but still I was more equipped than my kids. I shunned my responsibility about my son to ensure a smooth beginning on his career path. At the least, I could have taken one bitter decision of not allowing him to go for higher education in Australia and insisting him to work in India. Again, I failed in this as I wanted to showcase my changed way as a goody goody father. I wanted to score some spiritual brownie points. This selfishness and shortfall in doing duties has costed my son now. But how can I repair now? Do I have to take active control of the lives of my kids? Do I have to renegotiate with my life to get into the corporate world?
The other, rather more deep analysis is of karma. I have been told that in several generations, one person reaches the height of success. Obviously, the luck factor is completely in his favour. But in doing so, that person draws upon the luck from the future generations. That must be the case for me. I am always surprised at the luck factor in my whole life so far. I know that without this luck factor, I would have achieved very little and lived quite a mediocre life. But that seems to have taken toll on my son. Right since his childhood, he has been a loser. What other kids could achieve easily, he had to struggle a lot. And still he would fail because of sheer bad luck. Although, after realising this, I decided to quit career so that my son gets luck factor in his favour, the luck factor still continued to favour me. My improved health, superior financial position indicate this. And my son keeps facing bad luck every now and then. Otherwise, why would he get rejected from simple, normal casual jobs and forced to get into hard laborious, abnormal jobs? Why can't he improve his personal effectiveness and communication so as to create a good impression? Why does he forget normal daily routing things? Why does he get into a wrong train or miss a train at late night? Why isn't he paid in time for the work he has done? Why can't he plan his way out towards a better career? The influence bad luck has on him seems to be extending even now at this age. I have given up whatever good was possible for me and I remain completely passive, just to support the family. Still both the kids have to struggle with their weaknesses. Does it mean that as long as I am alive, the luck factor is not going to change? Do I have to exit the scene for my kids to be able to enact their roles confidently?
In William Shakespeare's famous monologue, "To Be or Not To Be".
The kid's fate mostly hinges upon their parents' actions, or absence of actions. At least until certain age when a kid starts driving his or her own fortune. And this age varies from kid to kid. In my son's case, it seems this age is yet to come. When I was controlling the shots about my son's life, it was beneficial for him, though he often felt being dominated. The decisions like moving him to a different school, taking myself off from the work for his important exam preparation, curfew orders for him in the home, proved to be right for his development. It was only when I decided to quit my job and entire work career, that I think the things started going wrong. That decision was purely a selfish decision to help me live better, manage my finance better and to get me all the time I needed. There was no gain for the rest of the family members, especially the kids. In fact, the kids might have felt embarrassed and insecure. In short, though my hardship got reduced, the cost was to be paid by my kids. Had I kept working, my kids would have been much secure and under my strict control. Moreover, it was my duty to make the foreign country living easier for my kids. As a successful IT professional, I could have tried for a US posting or change of job to get relocated to the US. It would have been hard given the competition but still I was more equipped than my kids. I shunned my responsibility about my son to ensure a smooth beginning on his career path. At the least, I could have taken one bitter decision of not allowing him to go for higher education in Australia and insisting him to work in India. Again, I failed in this as I wanted to showcase my changed way as a goody goody father. I wanted to score some spiritual brownie points. This selfishness and shortfall in doing duties has costed my son now. But how can I repair now? Do I have to take active control of the lives of my kids? Do I have to renegotiate with my life to get into the corporate world?
The other, rather more deep analysis is of karma. I have been told that in several generations, one person reaches the height of success. Obviously, the luck factor is completely in his favour. But in doing so, that person draws upon the luck from the future generations. That must be the case for me. I am always surprised at the luck factor in my whole life so far. I know that without this luck factor, I would have achieved very little and lived quite a mediocre life. But that seems to have taken toll on my son. Right since his childhood, he has been a loser. What other kids could achieve easily, he had to struggle a lot. And still he would fail because of sheer bad luck. Although, after realising this, I decided to quit career so that my son gets luck factor in his favour, the luck factor still continued to favour me. My improved health, superior financial position indicate this. And my son keeps facing bad luck every now and then. Otherwise, why would he get rejected from simple, normal casual jobs and forced to get into hard laborious, abnormal jobs? Why can't he improve his personal effectiveness and communication so as to create a good impression? Why does he forget normal daily routing things? Why does he get into a wrong train or miss a train at late night? Why isn't he paid in time for the work he has done? Why can't he plan his way out towards a better career? The influence bad luck has on him seems to be extending even now at this age. I have given up whatever good was possible for me and I remain completely passive, just to support the family. Still both the kids have to struggle with their weaknesses. Does it mean that as long as I am alive, the luck factor is not going to change? Do I have to exit the scene for my kids to be able to enact their roles confidently?
In William Shakespeare's famous monologue, "To Be or Not To Be".
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